TiPb Give-Away: Tiger Woods PGA TOUR for iPhone and Xbox 360!

[futurecode]

I've been playing golf for almost tens years now and you want to know my funniest golf moment or joke?

Apparently you haven't seen me play!

[efjmiller]

If you're worried about your next shot reaching the green while the group ahead
of you is still putting out, you have two options: immediately shank
a lay-up, or wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

[Geaux]

Haven't golfed since college/high school...so I will grace you with a couple of jokes instead of stories.

1)
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"

"Yes," the golfer responded.

"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"

"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.

"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...

"I think I'll open my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."


2) And one that is "on par" with this contest
What do you call 123 white guys chasing 1 black guy?

The PGA Tour.

[hobyphone]

One of my friends scored a double bogey on a hole and was really mad, so when he stepped up to the next tee, he had this look on his face like he just wanted to kill the ball to get out all of his frustration. He took a huge swing and completely shanked the ball off to the right. Unfortunately for him, the ball hit a fence post, bounced back right into his gut, and dropped him straight to the ground. Of course, we all started rolling on the ground too…from laughter.

[surrealx]

Once had a ball ricochet off of 4 different trees that were aligned on either side of the tee about 10 feet in front of the box, needless to say I didn't thread the gap, and the ball bounced around in the group and came right back at us. I had to be in a Tom & Jerry cartoon.

[double3]

I know it's not original, but it worked and was really funny. I bought one of those exploding golf balls and was successful in swapping it for a real ball on the tee box while a friend distracted our other friend who was about to tee off. He swung, it exploded, he about peed his pants from being scared, and the rest of us about peed our pants from laughing so hard.

Pick me. I'd love to have Tiger on my iPhone. Thanks!

[Reverend Ink]

Got my first set of clubs for my 5th birthday. Custom cut for my height. I regularly hit practice balls in the field across the cul-de-sac from my childhood home.
Around 9 years old, my buddy came with me. We had been playing for a while when I decided to switch to my driver. He had just taken a few swings and stepped back for me. Well, he didn't stay back. Somehow I managed to catch his forehead on my back swing. Busted his head open...his sister claims she could see the nerves.
Just found him on Facebook about 6 months ago...apparently he has a *****in scar on his forehead now.

[manttium]

Last summer my buddies and I were golfing at a course in Oregon. We were playing a par 5 and one of my friends hit a nice long drive, left-center on the fairway. His second shot was probably around 180 yards. He took his 4-iron (yes, 4-iron, we're not pros here!), and must of hit it fat or something - either way, the head of the club broke completely off and went about 3/4 the way to the hole before getting lost in some tall grass! The ball only limped forward a few yards. So almost like Happy Gilmore - "the club went further than the ball!", except, only part of the club ;-)

Anyways, we never did find the head of the club - and to this day my buddy still has the shaft of the 4-iron in his bag.

[CoryJP]

went golfing with my dad for the first time, my dad took some swings and the ball went behind him instead of in front hitting the green plastic guard making a loud sound and then seeing all the regulars staring at us ... YIKES

[ttaylor]

Steve Wonder and Tiger Woods cross paths at a popular meeting place. Woods turns to Wonder and asks, "How's the singing career going?" Steve Wonder replies, "Not too bad! How's the golf?" Tiger Woods replies, "Not too bad. I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now."

Steve Wonder says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Tiger Woods says, "You play golf?"

Steve Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."

And Tiger Woods asks, "But, you're blind. How can you play golf if you're blind?"

Steve Wonder replies, "I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddie moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."

"But, how do you putt" asks Tiger Woods.

"Well," replies Steve Wonder, "I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hold and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."

Tiger Woods then asks, "What's your handicap?"

Steve Wonder says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."

Tiger Woods, incredulous, says to Steve Wonder, "We've got to play a round sometime."

Steve Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less then $10,000 a hold."

Tiger Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm game for that. When would you like to play?"

Steve Wonder says, "Pick a night!"